Lost in Transistion – 2016 Turtleman Race Report

It has been quite a while since I posted a race report, and I hope the hiatus is now over. Many know that the last year or so have been challenging for me and my family, and ‘Lost in Transition’ has a completely new meaning for me these days. However, we will put that back on the shelf for now and focus on what was a fabulous day, this past Saturday, July 30, 2016, at Turtle Lake Park located in Shoreview, MN.

According to the website, Turtleman was the first triathlon in Minnesota, and it ran consecutively for 14 years. It then took a 2-year sabbatical before coming back in 1995 and continued on for another 14 years. Tri Fitness, along with the City of Shoreview, revived the wildly popular event named after the lake and county park where the event is hosted.

Tri Fitness Coach Team "Chick'd Samich"

The event offers two classes, Classic and Modern. Both classes share the same route of a 1-mile triangular swim, 25-mile bike, and a paved trail 5 mile run around Turtle Lake. In addition, this year, Tri Fitness thru down the gauntlet and challenged all comers with a stacked relay team consisting of three of their finest coaches (Sharon (swim), Pete (bike), and Megan (run)). This team would be hard to beat. Tri Fitness's tri club also managed to assemble 3 teams, and I believe there was a fourth team, however, I believe only Vicky (swim) is on this year’s tri club team. In total, there were 9 teams competing in the Modern class. My team “All that and a bag of chips” consisted of me (swim), Angie (bike), and Theresa (run). We did not have any aspirations of toppling the coach’s team, but we definitely were out to have fun and to work hard. The club; however, did assemble a team that definitely had hopes of taking the top spot and had 3 stud athletes, Zach (swim), Nick (bike), and Mark (run).

Pre-Race and Transition Setup

Saturday morning was a gorgeous Minnesota summer morning with very little wind, temps in the upper 60’s, as the sun rose, with temps expecting to rise into the 70’s as the morning progressed. It would be a #superswell day of racing. Turtle Lake Park is picturesque; the lake was calm as I meandered into the transition area. I was the first of my team to arrive, but as I looked around, Nick approached and said good morning. Before I could even return my salutation, he was on about Pete’s bike setup. When it comes to the bike, Pete is a machine; I actually believe he has hydraulic fluid in his veins instead of blood. Pete had his bike set up with a single speed and obviously did so as a psychological strategy, and based on Nick’s reaction, it had worked better than anyone could have planned. As the morning progressed, Nick (who by the way is an amazing triathlete and probably has that same hydraulic fluid in his veins) was letting all of us know that he could not possibly let Pete beat him, or he may never live it down; game on as they say.

Howard, Amanda, and Matt

Angie, Theresa, and I got set up in transition, reviewed our strategy for the day, and even practiced the timing chip exchange before getting ready for race start. There was plenty of chitter-chatter with Amanda (swim), Matt (bike), and Howard (run) and the other Tri Fitness team members as we made our way to the race briefing. There were many friendly faces around, including a couple of colleagues from work, Jim and Glen, and many other like-minded athletes looking forward to a little swim, bike, and run party.

Swim 1.0 Mile – Triangular Clockwise Course – Time Trial Start

Warm-Up Shenanigans

After the race briefing I headed out for a quick warm-up. I was wearing the wetsuit knowing that my only goal for the day was to give my mates as much of a jump on the competition as I could. As I waded out a bit, the gal next to me said, “Hey, is that a snake”? Me, “Where, where…”(I do not like snakes of any kind), she points, “There”!, she squeals. I look down to my left about 2 feet away and there sat what looked like a snake lying on the bottom of the lake. We were standing in about 2 feet of water, and I am like, it sure looks like a snake, as I start to back away. Soon there are several others standing around the snake, and while I am trying to kick some sand or stones at it to see if it will move, a guy walks over and asks us what is going on. In stereo we echo, “There’s a snake on the bottom, right there”!, as we point at it. The guy is like, “I think it’s rubber, it’s not moving”. I’m not so sure and definitely not willing to go anywhere near this thing. After some trepidation, he grabs the thing by the end of its tail and says, “See, it’s rubber” as he tosses it in our direction. It sails about 10’ over our heads and lands in the weeds, and I am like, “That was so not funny”! Needless to say, so much for my warm up, by the time that drama concluded the race had started and the classic swimmers were lined up and heading into the water. I barely made it to my position in line when it was my turn to go. Sharon, the swimmer for the coach’s team, and Amanda were literally right behind me as we entered the water.

The Swim

About 50 yards into the swim I realized that I forgot to start my watch, but knowing that Sharon was on my feet, I decided not to try and start it now. The water was amazing, and I sighted the first buoy off on the horizon. There were very few weeds throughout, and the water temperature was great. I was worried about over-heating with the wetsuit on. I typically sight well in open water, and today was no exception; I was spot on. I worked hard knowing that I did not have to worry about biking or running today. As I made the final turn I realized that I was pretty much alone, I sighted the final buoy near shore and the swim exit and gave it all I had left.

T1 – Swim to Bike

As I scrambled out of the water I reached for my wetsuit cord before realizing I did not have to worry about it, I just need to make my way to transition so I could exchange the chip with Angie. I was really happy to see that all the team bikes were still in the rack, which meant I made it there first. Theresa helped with the chip exchange and Angie was off on the 25-mile bike course. Sharon was just a handful of seconds behind me, and just like that, Pete too was off. Nick sat nervously waiting for Zach, but next into transition was Amanda to exchange with Matt. I am sure it seemed like forever for Nick, but it was maybe a few minutes later that Zach made his way into T1. Zach, between gulps for air, said, “I had a late start; we are still in this thing”. Nick took off like a rocket with hopes of reeling in Pete who had an unknown lead at that point. As the rest of the swimmers made their way into transition, I peeled out of my wetsuit. My racing was done, but I had plenty of cheering left to do on this day.

T2 – Bike to Run

Theresa, Amanda, Howard, Sharon, and I chit-chatted for the next hour in transition (it was by far the longest I ever spent in T1 for any race) as we waited for the bikes to return. Mark and Megan did warm up drills and paced like a couple of thoroughbreds waiting to be taken to the starting gates.
Pete was the first back and was literally flying off his bike and running to make the exchange with Megan. Pete had apparently threw his chain about 2 miles from T2 and almost "arse over tea kettled" his way over his bars. Pete had battle scars on both his arms and legs and was bleeding from his right calf (I’m sorry that he was bleeding but was relieved that is was actually blood and not hydraulic fluid…). About 3 minutes or so later Nick came screaming and screeching down the hill to T2. He had made up some time on Pete, and after his exchange, Mark took off like a man on a mission with hopes of making up any remaining deficit. Nick averaged over 26 mph on the bike and stated that he threw up a couple of times on the course from exertion, and as Pete would say, “If you’re not puking, you’re not working”. A little while later, Angie was back to T2, and I helped exchange our team chip to Theresa. Angie rocked the bike and PR’d while averaging over 20 mph over the 25-mile course. Matt was not far behind, and then Howard was out for the run as well.

The Finish

"All that and a bag of chips"

The rest of us decided we had spent enough time in transition. We made our way up to the park entrance, which is where the finish line was set up, to await the return of our runners. Megan was first with Mark just a few minutes behind her. In the end, only 30 seconds separated the two teams with the coach’s squeaking out the victory. Theresa finished the run strong, and as we congratulated her and each other for a job well done, we picked up our finishers’ metals. We shared the highlights of the day with each other and the other Tri Fitness peeps that raced or volunteered. We even managed a few photos before saying our final farewells for the day.


Tri Club and my Tri Mates

6 months ago I was unsure of my endurance sport future. I had stopped swimming with my Master’s club before Christmas. I had signed up for a few events for 2016; however, I was struggling with self-acceptance and how my transition would affect my future in the sports I had grown to love. After coming out to a few of my mates, who have been beyond supportive and accepting, I decided to contact some of the coaches at Tri Fitness. I will not name names, but I will be eternally grateful to the coaches, the staff, the members of the tri club, and all of my endurance sport family for their unconditional welcoming back. Going to tri-club workouts became the highlight of most weeks, and it was the only place on the planet, at the time, where I felt real acceptance. With sincere gratitude and from a place of love, humility, and respect, I thank you for showing me how to “tri” again.

A letter – I am what I am

About 10 months ago, three words spoken aloud would change my life and the lives of so many others; ‘I am transgender’. I spoke those words as if throwing out a lifeline, in hopes that someone might grab the other end and keep me from drowning. I think it is very important for anyone trying to understand this to realize that prior to speaking those words aloud they were “not real to me”. It was just something I knew about myself, something I was unable to accept or share, a secret, that for the most part was hidden from view.

Below are a few extracts from a work announcement and from a letter I wrote and read to my kids. I am hopeful that sharing this with you will shed some light on why being open, honest and being authentic are so important to me. I do not understand why this is my path and I may never fully understand, but I have come to accept it and even embrace that this is my path and my journey. I will do everything I can to approach this from a place of love, with humility, and with respect. I pray for a day when I may be able to look back on my life and be proud of the person I am. I believe that God is not done with me yet and I will hold my head high, my heart higher, and take every step knowing that God walks with me.

Work Announcement – June 15, 2016

“In that spirit, we would like to inform you, with permission, of an employee’s transgender transition.

This fall, Miles Burd, who is in the process of gender transition, will exhibit personal changes in appearance and identity. At that time, Miles will be referred to as Patricia and all employees are expected to use the correct pronouns (i.e. “her” and “she”) in any verbal or written communication references. In addition, Patricia will begin using the restrooms reflective of her new full-time gender presentation on the effective date which will be communicated later this summer.”

I had the opportunity to speak directly to Wilson Tool’s management and work with the Director of HR to put together a company-wide communication, which was delivered by executive management to all 800 employees. On Thursday, June 16, 2016, I stood in front of many of my peers in small group meetings. I was able to share a personal message with them (I have included some extracts below). After one of the meetings, Ken Wilson, the founder of the company, was in the parking lot speaking to another employee, as I approached he saw me and proceeded to walk towards me, hand outstretched, and as we touched he said, “Give me a hug, Patricia right?” I smiled, and as we embraced he said, “It is going to be okay; I am glad that you can now be happy”. I am completely overwhelmed by the response of my colleagues and I am truly blessed and proud of how Wilson Tool has responded. I will forever be grateful and I am extremely proud to stand amongst them.

“Wilson Tool has supported me, and my family, in so many ways over the years and today I once again look to them as my family and I face new life challenges. I wish it possible to have been able to have this discussion with each of you individually but unfortunately that is just not practical.

As we move forward, I hope for acceptance and for the opportunity to rebuild, or build a-new, the relationships we have formed. I realize that for many that may not be possible, or that it may take time, that things will be different, and you will see me differently. I hope that we may stand together, as Wilson Tool employees, and continue to carry on the mission, and together continue to grow an organization where many future employees will have the same opportunities that we have had and continue to have. Ken Wilson stated in his 50th anniversary talk that there are really only two basic guiding principles for Wilson Tool, the first is the “Golden Rule” and the second is to do it the “Wilson Way” it is through these principles that I am hopeful for the future.”

On December 20, 2015, I read a letter to my kids telling them that their Dad is transgender and self-identifies as female. There have not been many harder things, as a parent, as a father, that I have ever done. In the letter I attempt to explain to them why saying those words aloud and living my life openly, honestly, with integrity, and to the best of my ability, authentically, is my only option. Ultimately, I know that I cannot and will not run and hide from this; I will not live my life in the shadows, fretting that this part of me will be discovered; I am just not wired that way. I have to be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and believe that I am a good person. A person who knows that they are not without flaws but who believes that through God’s grace can achieve great things. Not in an attempt to prop myself up but to carry out the mission that God has planned for me.

A Letter to my kids – December 20, 2015

“I am transgender and I self-identify as female. I do not say this lightly or in jest; this is my truth, a truth that I have lived with my entire life…I cannot and will not apologize for being what I am; I have come to accept that I am not an abomination. I am a child of God, and even though I do not know God's plan, I believe he has one for me…”

“I have never been good with verbalizing my feelings. I am writing this letter so that I can say everything that needs to be said. I have tried to teach you life’s lessons through my actions. If only one positive comes from this, I pray that it is an understanding that no one, especially family, should ever have to hide his or her true selves.”

“I do not know exactly when I knew, but at an early age I was aware that I was different…There was no internet, and my information sources were limited to my family, my friends, and my small little world of Parma, Ohio. The only real life examples that I had were not positive, and I was certain (or at least it is what I believed to be true) that this was wrong. What I was feeling was something to be ashamed of, and I, most likely, was going straight to hell. Therefore, I kept quiet…”

“I have tried to teach you the lessons of life through my example. I know that I am not the perfect parent; I have made many, many mistakes along the way. I only want you to be happy, healthy, fulfilled, and to find people, causes, and things that you can be passionate and proud of. If I pass anything of value to you, I want you to know that life is about choices and consequences and that living your life openly, honestly, and with integrity, love, and respect is the ultimate goal. I believe that if you can do that, then when your life ends, you will have no regrets, no unfinished business. What kind of lesson would I be teaching you if I continued to keep this secret from you? In my eyes, I would be telling you what I believe is most wrong with the world today, which is, 'do as I say, not as I do!' I would have failed you, and ultimately I would leave this life with the heaviest of regrets, one that I could never forgive myself for, one that I would hate myself for, for all of eternity.”

“Your Mom is my everything. She came into my life and freely gave herself to me, without condition, without pause. She revealed a glimpse of heaven and gave me hope that someday I would be able to lift my veil from which I hid. It is through her unwavering love that I now have the strength to let my truth be free…We have experienced true heartache; we buried a child, and we nearly lost another. I know our love for each other is forever, regardless of how this chapter may end...”

“For my family and close friends, I only ask for acceptance. To some I may never gain this, and again, I understand. Gender is one of those things that seem to be at such a rudimentary level that it should never be questioned. You are the gender that you were born, and this is typically the first thing ever revealed about you; it is a boy! It's a girl! Right?...”

“For my friends and colleagues, I do not know what happens next. I never meant to deceive you in any way. Until I was able to accept this truth myself, it was not possible for me to share. I do not know where this revelation leaves us. I hope that we will have the opportunity to continue to share parts of our lives together. You are all important to me…but in the end, I am what I am.”

“Once breathe has been given to them and the pen has spilt-forth upon the paper, the words cannot be unspoken, I now place myself into thy hands...”

With unconditional love and respect,

Miles Patricia